Thursday, 04 June 2020 11:15

How to cope with grief?

In my line of work as a Professional Organiser who works with Seniors, I am faced with grief and loss on a daily basis. Clients giving up family homes and precious possessions, the loss of a partner or parent, serious illness, frailty, dementia, and loss of independence.

There is confusion, hurt, frustration, anger, and concern for the future. And all too often the grief and grieving process is overlooked or brushed aside while dealing with the practicalities of the situation.

I know how to help, what to say, what to do and how to guide clients through this process. I believe that over the years I have learnt from all the situations I have encountered while working with Seniors and their losses. I encourage, guide, listen and manage giving clients time to process their own grief.

Suddenly and without warning I find myself trying to deal with gut wrenching loss in my own life, and the grief that comes with that. I realise again that grief and loss is unique to each one of us. There is no right or wrong way, but it is always helpful to have ideas and guidelines on how to work through your loss, or support someone who is grieving.

And so I find myself reading my blog from a while back and finding these tips helpful:

• Don’t pressure yourself or others to “just move on.”
• Don’t rush to make big decisions if you don’t absolutely have to.
• Don’t judge the way someone else is dealing with their loss. We are all different.
• Be gentle with yourself and try to understand that your feelings are completely normal.
• If your feelings overwhelm you , don’t be afraid to get the help of a qualified professional. A professional, unbiased ear in a safe environment can help enormously.
• Seek support from family and friends who love you.
• Take good care of yourself. Exercise, meditation, healthy eating, being outdoors, and journaling can all help.
• Ask for, and accept, help when needed and offered. Often friends don’t know what to say, so helping is a way of showing their sympathy and empathy.
• Take time to grieve, and again how long it takes is different for each of us.

Lastly, I am told, it does get easier with time, you do eventually move forward, but you don’t forget the love, the care, the memories and the legacy that loved one leaves behind.

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